The cop pulls into the station and parks the car.  You still can’t believe where you are.  How the heck did it come to this?  He turns around to face you and shakes his head.  “You kids just sit tight in here; I have some paperwork for you.”

“Yes, sir,” the guy says and with a straight face. 

The officer saunters into the station with a hand on his hip, still shaking his head.

You look at the guy sitting next to you, none the worse for wear despite being taken to a police station with you.  In fact, he flashes you a smile and puts a friendly hand on your shoulder.  “Don’t worry, buddy; really, we’re fine.”

A million retorts form in your mind, but one stands high above the rest, “Who are you, anyway?  What are you doing here?”

The guy’s eyes widen in moderate surprise, “you don’t remember me?  Come on, really?  I’m-”

There’s a knocking on the window behind your head and another officer, this one considerably wider and sweatier than the other, pulls you out of the car by your shirt collar and makes you stand.  You’re still a little wobbly from all that’s happened and you shake your head a little bit to try to make sense of it all.  Private property.  It was just a silly little ticket.  So what are you doing here?  You turn to the officer and

Say “I think there’s been some kind of misunderstanding here.  If we could just talk about the charges being put against us I think we’ll find this is a bit too much for what we’ve done.” 

Say “Dang, you’re a big one!  What’re they feeding cops these days?  Blubber nuggets and cream cheese?"

Attack him, planning to first gouge out his eyes and then bust his knees, making him collapse on himself and giving you a clear getaway.